Today is the last day of my 30s. I’m going to do something especially irresponsible tonight, so I can wake up to a regretful 40 year old.

I assume that the Pediatricians’ Guild will never let this rob them of their bread and butter.

RF O’Rourke live-streams a haircut. Last time it was a teeth cleaning. I guess the next one will be his proctology appointment.

I didn’t say that raccoon was ill-tempered, I said it has distemper.

If I wasn’t vaccinated, I might not go to an anti-vaccination rally during a measles outbreak.