ZARDOZ MOST FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR – HARVEST!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. AS THE YEAR END DRAWS NEAR, WE IN THE VORTEX REVIEW OUR PLANS FROM THE PAST YEAR. THE RESULTS ARE…MIXED. SOME FAILURES, AND ONE PROMISING FUTURE STRATEGY. GO FORTH AND ANALYZE!

NOT GOOD ENOUGH (LEADING TO THE AGING OF THE ETERNAL WHO PROPOSED IT):

FAIL.

  • IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE REPTILES, AT LEAST MAKE SURE THEY ARE VENOMOUS. ALSO, NOT IN COLD CLIMATES. FAIL.
  • FISH-BRUTAL HYBRIDS ARE INTRIGUING, BUT THIS IN NO WAY LEAD TO ANY CLEANSING OF THE BRUTALS WHO PLAGUE THE EARTH. FAIL.

ZARDOZ THINKS THAT DISRUPTING MEDICAL CARE FOR BRUTALS MAY BE A BETTER APPROACH (THIS EARNED EXTRA GREEN BREAD FOR THE ETERNALS WHO BACKED THIS)

DELIVER THESE BONUS LOAVES, BRUTAL!

  • YES. YES! FIRE THEM ALL. THIS “PUBLIC SECTOR” IS A GREAT HELP. WIN.
  • ZARDOZ IS PLEASED. WIN.

ZARDOZ MUST GO AND SEND A GRAIN DONATION TO THE WIZENED CRONE, AND THE DISHEVELED COMMUNARD STANDING FOR SUPREME LEADER OF THE LARGE NORTH AMERICAN BRUTAL STATE. THEY WILL ADVANCE THE GREAT CLEANSING!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

 

AND NOW ZARDOZ CONTINUES TO GIVE ADVICE ON BEHAVIORS.

Q: Upon being asked by my daughter’s future mother-in-law for my thoughts on a bridal shower, I texted my daughter before answering. The maid of honor is my 20-year-old, so I offered to pay for the bridal party to host a shower at a local, trendy brunch spot, inviting future MIL, daughter’s stepmother, and all grandmothers.

My daughter then let me know that she and her fiance preferred to ask her stepmother and father to host it at their house instead. I let her know that I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. When it wasn’t dropped, I was impolite and stated, “I love you, but I don’t love anyone enough to sit in Daddy’s house with his parents and family.”

I have always been a good co-parent. I made sure we all sat together at every school program and graduation since elementary school. We did college move-in days together. I made sure my girls’ sister from their stepmother’s first marriage was in every picture with my girls at these occasions.

However, this seemed a boundary I needed to draw, especially since the shower was not yet planned.

She asked her stepmother, and perhaps shared my response. Her stepmother then offered to host at a restaurant instead. I explained to my daughter that there was never any issue with coming together as a family, and an alternate location in the middle would have been fine from the start.

But she and her fiance are deeply hurt and feel as though I was not willing to “suck it up” to celebrate them, and that my issues “should not fall back on them because it’s not their fault.”

I certainly wasn’t refusing to see anybody, and had not expressed a negative opinion about having to see them at the wedding.

Besides the reactive, impolite way I set my boundary, have I demonstrated poor etiquette by preferring a more neutral location? I am struck by my daughter’s reaction and reminded her that she might need to take a step back and consider how I have always carried myself, and loved and supported her. On every other matter, I have told her that it’s her wedding and to do it her way. Please advise me on my missteps and what apologies I may owe.

A: WEAKLING! NEVER APOLOGIZE. ZARDOZ HAS SEEN FAR WORSE FOR WEDDING PROBLEMS…

WHAT IN LAWS? I AM IMMORTAL! THEY WERE NOT.

THE ONLY WAY TO SALVAGE THIS IS TO APPEAR TO HAVE CRAVENLY BEGGED FORGIVENESS, GO TO THE PARTY….AND POISON ALL FOOD AND DRINK.

ONE TWITCHED! *BLAMBLAMBLAM*

ZARDOZ WILL SEND THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO FINISH OFF ANYONE STILL MOVING. THINK OF THE SAVINGS ON WEDDING GIFTS TOO!

Q: Is there an ungendered term for “hostess gift”?

A: “TRIBUTE”. YOUR INABILITY TO COME UP WITH SIMPLE WORDS INDICATES TO ZARDOZ THAT YOU ARE SUITED FOR ONLY ONE ACTIVITY. ENJOY YOUR NEW FOUND LIFE AS A GRAIN SLAVE, IN SERVICE TO THE VORTEX.

PRESENT, “FOR YOU”, “HERE, I GOT YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING” WOULD ALSO HAVE SUFFICED.

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.