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THE CONTINUING AWESOME ADVENTURES OF SECRET NAZI PRESIDENT!!11!1! – Vol. 28: Barry, Biden & J-Z

Posted by BakedPenguin | Jul 19, 2019 | Comic, Satire, Secret Nazi President | 183

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PreviousThank Yahweh It’s Friday- Morning Links
NextSTEVE SMITH FRIDAY RECOVERY LINKS…AND ADVICE!

About The Author

BakedPenguin

183 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 11:14 am

    Baked Penguin? Why does that name sound familiar?

    • MikeS on July 19, 2019 at 11:37 am

      Because you ate at an Antarctic-themed restaurant last night?

      • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 11:40 am

        I wish.

        I had microwave yakisoba last night.

        • Fourscore on July 19, 2019 at 12:05 pm

          Elitist has his own microwave, unless, unless unlike most glibs, he has friends.

  2. Lackadaisical on July 19, 2019 at 11:22 am

    What’s with the lack of comments?

    Good work BP. I’ll take one side of ms hidarigawa, even if she is a prog.

    • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 11:25 am

      Still waiting for it to load?

      /300 baud modem

    • MikeS on July 19, 2019 at 11:39 am

      Everybody is waiting for the blood to return to their brains after the raging erections induced by the return-of-SNP?

      • Swiss Servator on July 19, 2019 at 11:56 am

        Why, whatever do you mean?

        *Tebows toward BP to hide massive boner*

    • Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 12:13 pm

      Well, Penguin is baked. I assume everyone else is as well and we are all distracted by the colors in the post.

  3. Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 11:26 am

    I’d like to crash my waves on Katrin’s shore, if you know what I mean.

    Very glad to see a return!

  4. Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 11:27 am

    dat ass

    • Not Adahn on July 19, 2019 at 2:23 pm

      doe

  5. Gustave Lytton on July 19, 2019 at 11:31 am

    Awesome! SNP never left. Mwahahaha!

    Also, I’d like to put some mayo on Keiko’s sushi.

    • RegicidalManiac on July 19, 2019 at 12:23 pm

      I would disappoint her all night long.

      • Lackadaisical on July 19, 2019 at 2:23 pm

        Well, for a few minutes anyway.

  6. MikeS on July 19, 2019 at 11:36 am

    It’s twue, it’s twue! SNP is back!

    I feel hole again!

    • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 11:48 am

      THAT WHAT FRIEND VICTIM OF STEVE SMITH SAY!

  7. Spudalicious on July 19, 2019 at 11:39 am

    That was fun. I like the Obama watermark.

    • MikeS on July 19, 2019 at 11:41 am

      That is a nice touch.

      • Swiss Servator on July 19, 2019 at 11:56 am

        “Barry”

        • MikeS on July 19, 2019 at 11:57 am

          *narrows gaze*

  8. Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 11:43 am

    Great work, BP. I missed Random Drunken Asshole!

  9. leon on July 19, 2019 at 11:44 am

    Yes SNP!!

    “Wait… What am I doing?” Sounds about right.

  10. ChipsnSalsa on July 19, 2019 at 11:44 am

    whoop, whoop! SNP is back! Extended edition this time.

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder on July 19, 2019 at 11:54 am

    mmmmmm……..

    • Swiss Servator on July 19, 2019 at 11:57 am

      Zenu comin’!

  12. Fourscore on July 19, 2019 at 12:06 pm

    Bring it on ! Great story line as well. Thanks, BP

  13. Raston Bot on July 19, 2019 at 12:09 pm

    RDA sounds like my inner voice.

    • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:23 pm

      He truly is an Everyman character.

  14. Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:14 pm

    OMG! Thanks so much for this, BP. Just what many of us needed to raise our spirits on this hot, sticky and sucktastic (NIAGW!) week.

  15. Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    It’s about time, I missed the adventures of random drunken asshole and Secret Nazi President. MGGA, make Glibs great again!

    • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 12:18 pm

      That would imply that at some point between launch and now Glibs dipped below ‘great’.

      • Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 12:20 pm

        Glibs was never that great. – A. Cuomo

        • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:21 pm

          And the A stands for asshole, right?

      • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:20 pm

        What? We don’t have to convince the commies? And by convince, I mean troll. It’s not fun, and BTW, it’s pronounced ‘Uhmga’.

        • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:27 pm

          “Umma Gumma?”

          • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:34 pm

            That song freaked me the fuck out first time I heard it. Me and my friends just happened to be holed up in my bedroom smoking Thai Sticks and Jamaica weed at the time. I’m surprised there’s actually someone here who has even actually heard it.

          • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:52 pm

            Dude, I’m old.

          • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:27 pm

            Well, me and you2, Tonio.

          • Spudalicious on July 19, 2019 at 1:54 pm

            I posted it on the Saturday evening links a few weeks ago.

    • Spudalicious on July 19, 2019 at 1:55 pm

      MGGA…I assume that would be pronounce Migga?

      • Nephilium on July 19, 2019 at 1:57 pm

        Please.

  16. Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:16 pm

    “Soreass foundation…”

    [titters]

    • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:18 pm

      I lol’d at that one.

  17. Ozymandias on July 19, 2019 at 12:17 pm

    I had to look twice, then rub my eyes, at the Obammy watermark. Very well done.

    • Tundra on July 19, 2019 at 12:27 pm

      +1

      Subtle and sublime.

    • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:28 pm

      ^Brooksie nails it.

  18. Drake on July 19, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    I was checking my junk email at AOL and thought I had landed at the Nation Bee.

    “13 Philly Cops Fired dor Rascist Tweets” (so that’s how cops get fired)
    https://aol.it/2Lv6Pd3

    “Michelle Obama most admired woman in the world”

    “Californiaia City to Ban Words Like ‘Manhole'”
    https://aol.it/2O4yHqu

    • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:28 pm

      “13 Philly Cops Fired dor Rascist Tweets” (so that’s how cops get fired)”

      Well, you have to know your protocol. Murder, good shoot. Racist tweets, you’re out of here.

      “Michelle Obama most admired woman in the world”

      Yeah sure, whatever you say.

      “Californiaia City to Ban Words Like ‘Manhole’”

      It’s Commiefornia.

      • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 12:30 pm

        Manhole would be a good gay bar name.

        • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:35 pm

          /way to get it unbanned, maybe…

        • Nephilium on July 19, 2019 at 12:36 pm

          One of the gay bars in Cleveland was named The Grid. It seemed an…inappropriate name to me (for reference it opened either late 90’s/early 00’s).

        • Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

          That’s no way to speak about the former first lady.

        • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

          French-ify it to make the name classy.

          • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:30 pm

            Le Trou d’Homme?

    • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:31 pm

      “Californiaia City to Ban Words Like ‘Manhole’”

      Gays hit hardest.

      • kinnath on July 19, 2019 at 12:33 pm

        TERF conspiracy

        • Scruffy Nerfherder on July 19, 2019 at 12:41 pm

          Transhole has a nice ring to it.

          • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 12:48 pm

            The only gender neutral sex organ is the anus. It is the only thing those who identify as men, women or trans all possess equally. Therefore it is only fitting we change the name to….

          • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:53 pm

            Not technically a sex organ.

            What, you hate oral?

          • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

            Let me go, I’m rolling. Also, the ‘mouthhole’ just doesn’t work so well

          • Scruffy Nerfherder on July 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

            Bad bad naughty Zoot hates oral

          • Scruffy Nerfherder on July 19, 2019 at 12:54 pm

            Cakehole?

          • Tundra on July 19, 2019 at 12:55 pm

            Loretta?

          • Scruffy Nerfherder on July 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm

            +1 Box

          • Tundra on July 19, 2019 at 12:58 pm

            Dudes were so far ahead of their time. No wonder comics are having so much trouble coming up with new material.

          • Scruffy Nerfherder on July 19, 2019 at 1:00 pm

            It’s hard to parody insanity when it’s no longer considered insane.

      • Mad Scientist on July 19, 2019 at 1:22 pm

        They can always change the name of the gay bar from “Manhole” to the gender neutral “A Hole.”

  19. Tundra on July 19, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    Man did I miss Random Drunken Asshole. He’s like a prophet, really.

    Thanks, BP! You made my day!

    • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:29 pm

      Titties, mmm, let me see em.

      What else is there to say? Man is a legend.

    • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 12:37 pm

      It’s like Paul Simons sang;

      “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls”

      He just couldn’t figure out how to add in “in RDA’s excrement” and make it rhyme.

      • wdalasio on July 19, 2019 at 12:46 pm

        “The words of the prophets are written in RDA’s poo. After he goes to the loo…”

  20. Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    ARgh – people who schedule 3PM meetings on a Friday should be shot.

    Or in her case at least a good spanking.

    • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:37 pm

      “ARgh – people who schedule 3PM meetings on a Friday should be shot.”

      I couldn’t agree more. Get a life, fuckheads.

      • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 12:38 pm

        *hovers over ‘Send’ button for meeting invite*

        To click or not to click…

    • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 12:39 pm

      If she’s spank worthy I don’t think I’d mind hanging around until 3. She also may be angling to be asked out for a cocktail after.

      • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 12:47 pm

        I would post a pic if I could… but imagine Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler. Like This– they could be kissin’ cousins.

        • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

          Yeah, I wouldn’t resent that meeting so much then……

    • Nephilium on July 19, 2019 at 12:49 pm

      I used to have a weekly meeting at 16:30 on Friday afternoons. That one is gone now, replaced by one at 15:30 every Friday.

    • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:12 pm

      *whistles, looks around nervously*

  21. mikey on July 19, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    Welcome Baaack!
    Too bad Cortex Cortex had to change his name

    • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 12:42 pm

      Yeah, I can’t even remember what it was before, but it didn’t sound quite right. Of course, I do remember ‘Pecky’.

      • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 12:56 pm

        Cortez Cortez.

        • Tundra on July 19, 2019 at 12:57 pm

          What a killer…

        • mikey on July 19, 2019 at 1:04 pm

          Yeah. Started as a typo then decided to leave it.

  22. Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 12:58 pm

    The Root does that voodoo that they do so well:

    https://www.theroot.com/what-they-mean-when-they-say-send-her-back-1836503461

    White supremacy.

    The idea of “send her back” is the timeless and indestructible pillar upon which this country was built. It is a clarion call that allows the upholders of white supremacy to believe black and brown bodies are as returnable as defective Amazon packages. Forty-one of the 56 founding fathers were slave owners. During and after the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln proposed sending blacks “back” to Haiti, Panama, Liberia and anywhere other than America. After World War I, whites initiated 38 anti-black riots during the “Red Summer” of 1919, in part because of black veterans returning to America with crazy ideas such as equality, owning guns and looking white people in the eye. In 1964, California Republicans barely blocked a proposal to include sending “Negroes back to Africa” on the state’s official party platform. Tea Party members and at least one Congressman were known for saying they wanted to send Obama “back to Kenya.”

    • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 1:13 pm

      “Bodies”

      Also, there was a robust black Back-to-Africa movement. Liberia. Marcus Garvey.

      • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:16 pm

        She was a girl from Birmingham….

    • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 1:15 pm

      I saw a tweet this morning of Dems telling some white dude to “go back to his country” and can’t find it now.

      Oh well, The Root is still trash.

      • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:37 pm

        I linked a story this morning from a year or two ago about Dick Durbin and Jerry the Hutt trying to no shit get Seb Gorka deported, claiming he gave false information in his nationalization application, maybe that’s it?

        • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 2:58 pm

          Yeah, that was it. Which led to me this impeccable reasonable bit of journalism from where-else:

          It’s true that Omar has said things that were freighted with anti-Semitism, for which she has expressed regret. But it is grotesque to argue that that excuses racism against her, or that Trump’s taunts have anything to do with protecting Jews. This is a president who regularly deploys anti-Semitic tropes and whose ex-wife said that he slept with a volume of Hitler’s speeches by his bed.

          His ex-wife said that did she? Huh.

          https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/19/opinion/trump-ilhan-omar.html

          • The Hyperbole on July 19, 2019 at 3:01 pm

            Plus everyone knows he can’t read.

    • Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 1:29 pm

      Abraham Lincoln proposed sending blacks “back” to Haiti, Panama, Liberia and anywhere other than America.

      Good lord. Trump got leftists to acknowledge Lincoln’s racism.

      black and brown bodies

      I still find this phrasing ironic.

      • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 1:33 pm

        in part because of black veterans returning to America with crazy ideas such as equality, owning guns and looking white people in the eye.

        And admit that gun control started as a way to suppress black people.

  23. Q Continuum on July 19, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    Holy fuckin’ shit. I never thought we’d see SNP ever again.

    Show me them titties.

    • Tonio on July 19, 2019 at 1:14 pm

      [Raises shirt for Q]

      • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 1:14 pm

        woot! ::throws beads::

        • Q Continuum on July 19, 2019 at 2:11 pm

          +1

  24. Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 1:03 pm

    a feel-good story for you:

    Teen Girl Activists Take On Skeptical Boys, Annoying Buzzwords

    The interviewees said it’s tough to stay involved. The girls, most of them in high school or college, feel pressure to maintain top grades while living up to their personal commitment to work for humanitarian causes. They say they have to be polite when they try to educate sexist men and boys so they don’t alienate them.

    And they say they’re worn out from it all. A main theme that emerged was burnout: the physical and mental exhaustion that comes from constantly justifying their work to skeptical men.

    But they’re determined to keep fighting — and find ways to de-stress (the music of Lizzo helps). Here’s what young activists are talking about this year.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on July 19, 2019 at 1:07 pm

      In the immortal words of RDA, “lemme see em titties”

      • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 1:12 pm

        Make me a sammich!

        • Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 1:38 pm

          Grab me a beer. (they’re on the bottom shelf)

          • ChipsnSalsa on July 19, 2019 at 1:42 pm

            That’s so the kids are able to get one for you as well.

          • The Bearded Hobbit on July 19, 2019 at 1:54 pm

            When my daughters were toddlers I used to have them “Bring Daddy a beer.” The only time that I felt bad about it was when two of them got into a fight over who was going to bring Daddy’s beer.

          • Sean on July 19, 2019 at 1:59 pm

            Why not both?
            Ya gots two hands.

          • NoDakMat on July 19, 2019 at 2:42 pm

            When my son was a toddler he loved helping me take the beer bottles out of the box and loading them into the fridge. On one occasion I bought a twelve pack of Alaskan Amber, and he thought seeing a picture of a boat on a beer bottle was the coolest thing ever. The next time I bought beer, I bought something different. As soon as he saw the box I could see his disappointment. He said “Daddy, I wanted you to buy the ship beer!”

          • Lackadaisical on July 19, 2019 at 2:25 pm

            I thought so she had to bend over to get them and you got to enjoy the view. ..

      • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

        “Mom and dad, this is Chasey
        Chasey, this is my mom and dad
        Now show ’em them titties,
        Now show ’em them titties,”

        Oh, what we’ve lost in modern triggered culture.

        • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:24 pm

          Be sure to watch to the end for the special bonus guest appearance by Chris Christie

        • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on July 19, 2019 at 2:24 pm

          TRIGGERED CULTURE STOLE THE LINK!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

          • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:40 pm

            Well, sheeeeeit

    • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 1:08 pm

      How is this a ‘feel good story’? Does it end with them realizing there’s more to life than activism, they have nothing to feel guilty about, and most of their misery is self-inflicted?

      • Tundra on July 19, 2019 at 1:11 pm

        LOL. Show them some activists at 40.

      • The Other Kevin on July 19, 2019 at 1:13 pm

        It probably made the writer feel good to know there’s a deep well of narcissistic, condescending, bitter scolds who will blame everything on stupid white men for decades to come.

      • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 1:22 pm

        >>How is this a ‘feel good story’?

        :something tongue something cheek

    • wdalasio on July 19, 2019 at 1:13 pm

      Well, from the pictures, it’s pretty clear their activism won’t be taking too much away from their dating time.

      • The Other Kevin on July 19, 2019 at 1:15 pm

        The activism itself is preventing that from being an issue.

        • wdalasio on July 19, 2019 at 1:19 pm

          For young guys a pretty face can make up for a lot of idiotic. They don’t have that advantage.

      • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 1:15 pm

        They’re not unsalvagable.

        • wdalasio on July 19, 2019 at 1:18 pm

          They’re not attractive and they’ve gotten into feminism.

          Yes, they’re unsalvagable.

          • kinnath on July 19, 2019 at 1:19 pm

            Chuck Norris can salvage any broad.

    • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 1:21 pm

      “she-roes”

      Way to fight annoying buzzwords, girls. I just can’t understand why those stupid boys aren’t taking you seriously.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on July 19, 2019 at 1:24 pm

        If they can’t femplain, can they even call themselves activists?

        • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 1:27 pm

          Does that make them inactivists? Because I don’t think they’re passivists.

      • The Other Kevin on July 19, 2019 at 1:28 pm

        “OMG, just spent the afternoon explaining to Tommy his role in perpetuating the patriarchy’s oppression of genderfluid individuals in the context of intersecionality and he STILL doesn’t get it! SO exhausting!”

        • Mad Scientist on July 19, 2019 at 1:32 pm

          “The spider in sector C is still alive. Plan your route accordingly and expect delays. We’re not telling you what to do. We’re just sharing how we feel.”

        • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 1:32 pm

          /Talkative Activist Barbie

    • Scruffy Nerfherder on July 19, 2019 at 1:32 pm

      The one from Sierra Leone actually has reason to be an activist.

      • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 1:33 pm

        STEVE SMITH ACTIVIST. FREE CASCADIA!

    • Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 1:36 pm

      when they try to educate sexist men and boys

      They seem bossy.

    • Fatty Bolger on July 19, 2019 at 2:26 pm

      Scolding is such hard work.

  25. Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Rule Britannia…

    Iran has seized a British-flagged oil tanker in the Strait of Hormuz amid growing tensions in the region.

    The Stena Impero, which has a crew of 23 onboard, “was approached by unidentified small crafts and a helicopter during transit of the Strait of Hormuz while the vessel was in international waters,” Stena Bulk said in a statement.

    “There have been no reported injuries and their safety is of primary concern to both owners and managers,” it added.

    So this is the setup for Top Gun 2? They already did this.

    • Lord Humungus on July 19, 2019 at 1:26 pm

      somewhere the ghost of Lord Nelson is crying.

    • leon on July 19, 2019 at 1:34 pm

      So is Iran claiming all of the straights of Hormuz?

      • leon on July 19, 2019 at 1:35 pm

        Straits damnit… Though I guess it works both ways.

        • UnCivilServant on July 19, 2019 at 1:52 pm

          Of course it does, accroding to the president of Iran, there are no gays in his country.

        • Lackadaisical on July 19, 2019 at 2:27 pm

          No, only the Bi’s of Hormuz go both ways. the straights will only work one way.

  26. Mad Scientist on July 19, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    BP, THANK YOU for bringing this back! Random Drunken Asshole is my favorite.

  27. mikey on July 19, 2019 at 1:33 pm

    Too late to join this mornings It’s Hot and Humid thread, so I’ll just do my gloating here.
    It’s 71 degrees (high of 75 maybe) and 31% humjdiity (a bit higher than usual).
    Off to a bike ride in the mountains. Last Best Place indeed.

  28. The Bearded Hobbit on July 19, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    Just noticed that the SNP is giving the “OK” sign.

    Excellent!

    • leon on July 19, 2019 at 1:40 pm

      It’s a white supremacists symbol. It is not OK

      • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 1:59 pm

        I feel like the cleverness of your comment should not go unremarked upon.

    • wdalasio on July 19, 2019 at 2:45 pm

      White power symbols are more popular than you might expect.

      • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 3:03 pm

        That was before the gesture switched sides!

        • blackjack on July 19, 2019 at 4:14 pm

          It’s because of the southpaw strategy.

  29. Rasilio on July 19, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    Looks like they are closing in on our friend Steve Smith

    https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=1PX4dE4ZRFR8pEnc2xHATGQe1rDA&ll=16.70780769925611%2C-104.87379850000002&z=3

    • ChipsnSalsa on July 19, 2019 at 2:06 pm

      EVEN STEVE SMITH STAY AWAY FROM DAKOTAS!

      • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 3:04 pm

        BUT STEVE SMITH STILL GET AROUND

  30. kinnath on July 19, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    https://www.businessinsider.com/unproven-allegations-ilhan-omar-married-her-brother-explained-2019-7

    Great piece on Omar’s marriage to her brother/not-brother while living appearing to live with her baby-daddy.

    • kinnath on July 19, 2019 at 1:53 pm

      Omar has not yet given a clear explanation as to why so many public documents point to her and Hirsi living together and being romantically involved while she was legally married to another man, but there is no solid evidence to support the theory that Elmi is Omar’s brother.

      It’s ok she was living with and fucking someone other than her husband. And no one can prove the cuck was her brother.

      • Spudalicious on July 19, 2019 at 2:09 pm

        This is a long read, but there’s video evidence that he probably is her brother.

        https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2019/07/david-steinberg-tying-up-loose-threads-in-the-curious-case.php

        • Raston Bot on July 19, 2019 at 2:16 pm

          i was searching for a motive and that provided one at the beginning. now i’m my curiosity is piqued.

        • The Hyperbole on July 19, 2019 at 2:46 pm

          I few months ago, I received a copy of Ilhan’s report via FOIA request. The description of the person Ilhan had been in the cab with was redacted.

          This post is filled with Facebook screenshots and instagram photos, but he doesn’t included a copy of the one physical document he claims to have, I call Bullshit on the entire thing.

          • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on July 19, 2019 at 2:54 pm

            Yeah, I doubt it’s true. Either way, I don’t give a shit if she was fucking her brother, two guys at once, or the family dog. Her policies are shit and she’s gonna be reelected.

        • Chipwooder on July 19, 2019 at 2:57 pm

          The thing I had never heard before is that Omar isn’t really her surname.

      • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:09 pm

        Of course it was her brother, no one else would fuck the ugly twat… OK, someone would, never wind.

      • The Hyperbole on July 19, 2019 at 2:33 pm

        It’s ok she was living with and fucking someone other than her husband

        Yes, that is perfectly cromulent.

        • leon on July 19, 2019 at 3:06 pm

          Now you made me look up cromulent…

          • The Hyperbole on July 19, 2019 at 3:17 pm

            consider your vocabulary embiggened.

    • grrizzly on July 19, 2019 at 2:12 pm

      From the article:

      Furthermore, the fact-checking site Snopes pointed out some significant holes in the theory that Elmi is Omar’s brother and that she married him to help him gain citizenship.

      It noted that not only did all of Omar’s six siblings also gain refugee status in the US, but siblings can sponsor one another for residency status and a green card under US immigration law — negating the need for Omar and Elmi to commit fraud by getting married if he really were her brother.

      However, the things are significantly more complicated:

      U.S. citizens can sponsor their brothers or sisters but they belong to the family preference category and not to the immediate relatives category. The ones who belong to the preference category need to wait for a long time to get green cards. They need to wait for a minimum of 10 years to get green cards. Beneficiaries who belong to countries like China, India, and the Philippines need to wait for more than ten years to immigrate to the U.S.

      As of today, a Somalia-born sibling of a U.S. citizen could proceed with immigration only if his or her visa petition was filed before October 2006.
      https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/legal/visa-law0/visa-bulletin/2019/visa-bulletin-for-august-2019.html

      • Raston Bot on July 19, 2019 at 2:22 pm

        wait, but he was a British citizen.

        okay, now i’m back to thinking this is all bullshit.

        • grrizzly on July 19, 2019 at 2:29 pm

          All I’m saying is that the motive to arrange a fake marriage to a brother still exists if the brother wants to get a green card in the US. A spouse’s immigration case will be processed within months, a sibling has to wait almost 13 years.

    • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:54 pm

      Every time I hear something like this, it reminds me of something completely different. I once worked with a guy… guys can be total horndogs, they will fuck anything that moves. Guy had one of the prettiest wives you will ever see, redhead, gorgeous, great face and body. I noticed he was spending a crazy amount of time seducing one of our co-workers on the shop floor. The woman was just nothing but ugly, I mean fugly. I finally just asked him ‘WTF?, you really want that?’. And he said to me ‘No one pays her any attention, she hasn’t been fucked in years, and that means she’ll be the best fuck ever’. Really? Whatever, it’s you who has to do it, you sick fuck.

  31. Sean on July 19, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    Good stuff Baked?

    Going away was nice, coming back home is even better. Looks like my pepper plants had a good week too. Yay.

    • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 2:01 pm

      This time of year reminds me that I was meant to live somewhere above the 45th parallel. I can bear snow and cold much better than I can heat and humidity.

      • Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 2:02 pm

        whelp…..that was OT. Not meant as a reply….oh well, glad you had a good trip!

      • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:07 pm

        Above the 38th parallel is not habitable by humans, no way.

        • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on July 19, 2019 at 2:12 pm

          54 40 or fight!

          • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:21 pm

            Your igloo will melt here today.

          • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on July 19, 2019 at 2:27 pm

            Relevant

          • Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:29 pm

            So. you’re one of the rich Canadians?

  32. Bob Boberson on July 19, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    https://splinternews.com/rand-paul-offers-actual-journalist-a-deranged-journalis-1836531560

    Rand Paul refuses journo-douche an impromptu interview.

    OMG whut an idiot!?!?! Stay classy, media hacks.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on July 19, 2019 at 2:15 pm

      Idk what that site is, but I immediately regret giving it a click.

      • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 3:22 pm

        Part of Gawker. That’s really all you need to know.

    • Rebel Scum on July 19, 2019 at 2:38 pm

      Don’t ask me questions.
      Watch Fox News.
      That’s it. That’s all you should do.

      Funny, I heard him say “we had a good interview on fox the other day. It covered a lot of information. Watch that and/or schedule an interview with my office.”

    • Rhywun on July 19, 2019 at 3:09 pm

      I’ve had that news channel in my home for over 20 years and I’ve never heard of that person.

  33. KSuellington on July 19, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    Right on! Love me some SNP! Good job BP.

  34. Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:15 pm

    This is the longest day ever in the history of the Metaverse. I have crossed rivers oceans of time to get here. But at least I still have beer and bourbon waiting…

  35. Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:31 pm

    *pours couple shots of Buffalo Trace on ice, doesn’t give a fuck. Which Alaskan precinct were we going to take over, I can’t remember*

  36. Hyperion on July 19, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    Damnit, can you guys remind me what software it was we were using for the threading. I;m working on a new PC build and have a new install of Windows 10.

  37. DEG on July 19, 2019 at 4:31 pm

    Bravo!

  38. BakedPenguin on July 19, 2019 at 4:49 pm

    Thanks for all the kind words, glad to bring SNP back. Also, sorry I got here only after the thread started dying.

    • egould310 on July 19, 2019 at 6:40 pm

      Thanks for this. Very funny made me happy.

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