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THE CONTINUING AWESOME ADVENTURES OF SECRET NAZI PRESIDENT!!11!1! – Vol. 32: Trannies, Glue and Debate. Oh My!

Posted by BakedPenguin | Aug 1, 2019 | Comic, Satire, Secret Nazi President | 207

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About The Author

BakedPenguin

207 Comments

  1. Swiss Servator on August 1, 2019 at 11:03 am

    BP taking advantage of the target rich environment!

  2. Sean on August 1, 2019 at 11:06 am

    I am happy this series has returned.

    • MikeS on August 1, 2019 at 12:26 pm

      So mirth. Many joy.

  3. PieInTheSky on August 1, 2019 at 11:07 am

    yeah . no comment on this one. except the no comment comment

  4. Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 11:11 am

    WHER MUH TITTIEZ?

    • leon on August 1, 2019 at 11:20 am

      Zenu is not coming.

      • Sean on August 1, 2019 at 11:21 am

        Zenu is not coming.

        He’s not even breathing hard.

        • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 11:28 am

          He has whiskey dick.

        • mindyourbusiness on August 1, 2019 at 11:46 am

          But his eyes are glazing.

    • Sean on August 1, 2019 at 11:28 am

      Here: https://gizmodo.com/reddit-magicians-are-fiercely-debating-how-to-summon-a-1834847398

      • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 11:30 am

        Journalism!

        • leon on August 1, 2019 at 11:33 am

          Journalism is just writing about what I read on the internet today.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 11:47 am

        Other r/occultists doubted that a novice magick user like Tacodirtshield1 could even accomplish such a task.

        They’re all amateurs. AMATEURS!

        *ignites page from SF novella and utters the sub-lingual tones of summoning*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 11:49 am

        “I ain’t needy,” he wrote Friday afternoon. “I’m just tryna have some fun with demons bro.”

        We should invite him.

  5. ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 11:14 am

    MY EYES!!!

    And even here Williamson is the least crazy one.

    • Sean on August 1, 2019 at 11:22 am

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjf2vi1KjOA

      A good interview with Williamson.

      • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:38 pm

        Q dropped this in the morning links.

        Funny ’cause it’s true.

  6. Rebel Scum on August 1, 2019 at 11:22 am

    medical care to foreigners living abroad

    The sad thing is that this is barely parody.

    • leon on August 1, 2019 at 11:29 am

      Bernie says it’s a human right, we can’t deny anyone who asks for it. Which raises the question, why do they have to be here for American taxpayers to foot the bill for their human rights?

      • Drake on August 1, 2019 at 11:37 am

        It’s the White Man’s Burden.

  7. Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 11:22 am

    The ending really hit the nail on the head, all according to (God Emperor) SNP’s plan.

    Though, shouldn’t Marianne be taking E, not LSD? I guess I will defer to BP on this, as he surely has more experience.

    • BakedPenguin on August 1, 2019 at 1:35 pm

      You’re probably right, but I thought acid would be funnier.

      • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 2:02 pm

        I thought acid would be funnier.

        I think it is, and definitely not out of the realm of possibility.

      • Ted S. on August 1, 2019 at 2:31 pm

        As the chemistry major said, “All your acids are belong to us.”

  8. BEAM's not a team player on August 1, 2019 at 11:22 am

    YOU’RE BACK! Awesome job, d00d.

  9. The Late P Brooks on August 1, 2019 at 11:24 am

    When will Random Drunken Asshole announce his candidacy?

  10. Rebel Scum on August 1, 2019 at 11:25 am

    third tab of acid

    Williamson is Agile Cyborg?

    • Tundra on August 1, 2019 at 11:30 am

      Needs more space-jizz.

  11. Tundra on August 1, 2019 at 11:29 am

    God, I missed SNP!

    That last frame of Biden is absolutely perfect!

    • Rhywun on August 1, 2019 at 11:55 am

      The Klobuchar one got a real LOL out of me.

      • hayeksplosives on August 1, 2019 at 12:14 pm

        Yeah, she’s a real piece of work

      • MikeS on August 1, 2019 at 12:28 pm

        That was my favorite, too.

  12. cyto on August 1, 2019 at 11:36 am

    So, I’ve been trying to figure out who the machine is going to get behind by watching the press. It is clear that they are being frontrunners, with Warren, Biden, Harris and Sanders. They’ve played footsie with Mayor Pete for a while, but they seemed to drop him as soon as the debates showed up. So maybe that was just a cat with a toy like Rand Paul last time around – he got some attention until the machine took notice.

    So, first debate and the machine definitely liked Harris. Biden took it on the chin, but they spent the last couple of weeks openly pondering Biden – and they spent the last cycle completely rehabilitating him.

    CNN is definitely all-in on the progressive/socialist thing. They are completely behind Sanders and Warren. Today they are saying that Warren clearly stood out from the field – and the money quote was “who else is going to be on the stage with Warren and Sanders? Does Biden have what it takes to face Trump (yes, they say) and Harris (can she bring that sharp prosecutor style?)”

    Today was interesting. NBC reported the highlights of the debate, and had Biden hitting back at Harris and a mention of “and others as well”. Didn’t even give Tulsi a clip on her moment – which was an actual moment and not a fake “I’m not calling you a racist but” moment where she attacked her on something they actually agree on. So Today and NBC (who reliably coordinate with the DNC leadership) are protecting Harris. They are lukewarm on Biden, but definitely not looking to make a case against him. And they celebrated Warren and Sanders.

    So there you have it – the big guns are behind the big names. Harris, Biden, Sanders and Warren are the home team for the DNC.

    I checked the Huffpo to see what they had… you’d think all that hard progging would get them excited. Their two big takes were “backbenchers shine” and “Rivals attack Biden”. So not singing from the choir book, but not having the hard progressive take you’d think.

    They did have an article about Gabbard going after Harris though. But they only reported “she said this” and then said “Harris defended her record as prosecutor”. They did not do a deep dive into “what was Tulsi talking about when she said Harris kept information hidden that would have exhonerated innocent people on death row until a judge forced her to release it?”

    But they did wrap it up in a bow for us with a nice “both sides” take.

    “Many have criticized her record for contributing to high rates of incarceration in California. Others point out that the argument only perpetuates the racist ideology that she’s not “black enough” to represent black Americans. “

    So their stinger is…..

    Attacking Harris for her record of prosecutorial abuse is racist.

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you prog harder!

    • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 11:52 am

      I’ve been predicting it all along; Harris will be the VP pick at a minimum, and most likely the nominee. I don’t base that on anything other than she’s establishment enough to make the DNC power brokers happy, minority enough to keep the intersectional loonies happy, and ruthless and ambitious enough to aggressively wrestle it from the other candidates.

      And she’s the most evil.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 11:55 am

        And she has the Silicon Valley money behind her.

      • Rhywun on August 1, 2019 at 12:01 pm

        I have also been calling it for Harris since the beginning, and for pretty much the same reasons. Nothing I’ve seen yet has changed my mind. Hell, the DNC has probably told her already. Which made her reaction to Gabbard’s smackdown all the more delicious.

        • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 12:05 pm

          I brought that up in the last thread, I think she was shocked that the moderators put her in a position for one of the peons to embarrass her.

          • mock-star on August 1, 2019 at 10:46 pm

            Im usually pretty good at picking out who will be the DNC nominee. I just ask myself “which of these is the worst possible option?” and thats who is usually the nominee.

    • The Other Kevin on August 1, 2019 at 11:57 am

      “Others point out that the argument only perpetuates the racist ideology that she’s not “black enough” to represent black Americans.”

      The only people who would say she’s not “black enough” would be black. But black people can’t be racist.

      • Rhywun on August 1, 2019 at 12:04 pm

        CNN can’t pull an accusation of “racism” out of their ass that even makes sense.

        • Mad Scientist on August 1, 2019 at 12:07 pm

          “Racism” is the new “fuck.” Just randomly sprinkle your accusations with it to add emphasis.

        • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 12:19 pm

          Adam Carolla has a nice bit on this.

          He says he’s pitching a new game show based on “make me laugh” called “Make This Racist”.

          He’ll get Colin Kaepernick as the celebrity guest and then the challenge for Colin to “make this racist”! So Adam will hold up random objects for Kaepernick to comment on…. like a coffee cup. “how can you make this racist?”

          And then Kaepernick goes on a rant about how the white cup oppresses the black coffee, etc.

          And you don’t have to just do racism. You could do “Make this Sexist” with Lena Dunham.

          • BEAM's not a team player on August 1, 2019 at 12:33 pm

            Except that, in Carolla’s case, he’d be doing it for the lulz, whereas Dunham would be doing it to pick up pointers.

      • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 12:07 pm

        Except in this case they are morphing Tulsi’s “You put innocent people on death row and fought to keep them there even after the evidence that they were innocent was available” into “You ain’t black enough!”

        Which is a pretty hard turn into bizzarro world.

        But when you’ve made a living playing the race card, it is just too tempting. Any critique of Harris is racist. Ipso Facto, Tulsi is racist.

        Your attempt to use the logic trap of “black people cannot be racist, and only black people could say she’s not black enough” completely fails in prog land. You just aren’t progging hard enough. In prog land, white people can speak for all black people – just so long as they are expressing outrage over racism.

        • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:00 pm

          from the last thread:

          Harris blasted Gabbard from the spin room, calling her an “Assad apologist” and saying she could not take her seriously.

          Not a Tulsi fan, but come on!

          • leon on August 1, 2019 at 1:15 pm

            She’s pissed that some peon would dare question her.

    • Rebel Scum on August 1, 2019 at 12:16 pm

      They did not do a deep dive into “what was Tulsi talking about

      *shocked face*

  13. Sean on August 1, 2019 at 11:37 am

    Anyone watching NOS4A2? Is it worth watching?

    • Naptown Bill on August 1, 2019 at 11:49 am

      Crud, it’s an AMC thing but it’s not available on Hulu Live. I’d be interested once it’s available for us cord-cutters.

    • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 12:03 pm

      I saw some commercials and it looks interesting, however in my experience horror shows fizzle out pretty quickly.

      Anyone been watching Yellowstone on the Paramount channel? I got into it because I’ve really enjoyed anything directed by Tyler Sheridan and I thought the Paramount series “Waco” was fantastic…..However, since the native american female character started teaching college history and they seem to keep showing pointless scenes of her “educating” her students about whitepeoplebad I’m quickly losing interest

  14. cyto on August 1, 2019 at 11:40 am

    CNN is definitely also all-in on “medicare for all”. They had at least two separate panels (one last night and one this morning) who wrapped up with “medicare for all is the defining issue of the 20/20 campaign…. which of the democrats is going to best carry this forward?”

    So with CNN at least, you have to be for “medicare for all” to get positive coverage in the DNC primary.

  15. Timeloose on August 1, 2019 at 11:49 am

    You’re not my supervisor!!!

  16. cyto on August 1, 2019 at 11:51 am

    Ok, so while I’m at Huffpo (so you didn’t have to) I clicked on this clickbait.

    This is clearly under the heading of “never stick it in crazy”, but a variant that is rarely seen. Julianne Hough has apparently recently discovered that she’s not straight. And that’s helped her marriage.

    “I [told him], ‘You know I’m not straight, right?’ And he was like, ‘I’m sorry, what?’ I was like, ‘I’m not. But I choose to be with you,’” she recalled.

    Yeah, that’s gonna end well…..

    • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 11:56 am

      Two observations:

      1) She needs some publicity to raise her media value
      2) Her husband is seriously weighing the threesome option in his head.

      • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 12:12 pm

        That’s definitely in the milieu. The article had a click through to an earlier article… apparently they had seen a sex coach.

        Here’s a hint…. if you are a hot professional athlete and you are having sex with a smoking hot professional dancer and you need a sex coach….. there’s just no hope for you.

        And apparently in this case the problem was “he doesn’t have a vagina”.

        • Certified Public Asshat on August 1, 2019 at 12:18 pm

          Maybe she is actually boring, and to keep him she threw that out as a possibility.

          • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 12:22 pm

            Smoking hot is often super boring, particularly the party girl. She gets buy on being hot and drunk and her guy is just so excited by how she looks that he does all the driving. That lasts for a few months, but then reality sets in and you realize you are with a nice looking and very realistic blowup doll.

            Uh… not that I’ve ever… .

            You know, just nevermind. Forget I said anything…

          • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 12:31 pm

            This is a weird flex.

          • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 12:32 pm

            I can identify. I’ve dated way out of my league before, sometimes I take a trip down memory lane on Instagram and think to myself, “idiot, what were you thinking walking away”

            Then i remember that aside from knockin’ boots they were irksome, boring, and no fun to be around while their clothes were on.

          • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 12:39 pm

            If you can’t picture yourself carrying your demented spouse, who doesn’t remember who you are, to the bathroom after she’s had an accident, and being happy to do it, don’t get married.

            “Smoking hot” as we think of it, absolutely can’t survive past 40 and rarely after 35. Sure older women can be very attractive and MILFy, but Julliane Hough-level hotness has an expiration date way before “death do us part”.

          • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 12:42 pm

            That’s a good way to put it. Specifically I’m thinking about a certain red-head in her 30’s now who seems to just keep getting hotter. Unfortunately she was an absolute chore to be around. Must not just be me either because despite her exceptional looks she seems to be perpetually dating/single.

          • Lord Humungus on August 1, 2019 at 12:45 pm

            I went out with an attractive blonde when I was in HS – she was well, pretty boring to hang out with. I was much more interested in her brunette friend, who wasn’t as cute, but she had personality and fun in spades.

          • Lord Humungus on August 1, 2019 at 12:47 pm

            oh and college: the goth girl – who was insanely hot – and liked to get naked as soon as she walked through the front door. But she was also insanely crazy. Psychic-vampire. Everything was drama, all the time. It was tiring, to say the least.

          • Gustave Lytton on August 1, 2019 at 2:56 pm

            Add change surgical bandages to that and both can happen long before you think it could.

            At a college today and saw a smoking hottie in a sun dress. God bless America and that’s more than enough for me.

        • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 12:18 pm

          apparently they had seen a sex coach.

          Always a mistake, I assume.

        • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 12:33 pm

          “sex coach”

          This is a career option?

          • Mad Scientist on August 1, 2019 at 12:40 pm

            I assume it’s a career option….for women. But perhaps you could identify as one…

          • pistoffnick on August 1, 2019 at 12:47 pm

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN-4lX0QyZc

    • leon on August 1, 2019 at 12:04 pm

      Fun fact: her father was twice the Chairman of the Republican Party of Utah.

    • Private Chipperbot on August 1, 2019 at 12:24 pm

      Sean Avery is bummed they are both retired. That’s some trash talking gold right there.

      • Tundra on August 1, 2019 at 1:04 pm

        I envision something like this.

    • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 2:14 pm

      ‘You know I’m not straight, right?’

      “You mean, you’re crooked? How so? Like, fraud, embezzlement, loan sharking, that kind of crooked?”

      • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 3:14 pm

        Funny!

        That’s a hell of a conversation to have with your wife. Not girlfriend. Wife.

        She claimed she had a voyage of self-discovery a couple of years into their marriage. Under the heading of “not cool” would be “hey, honey, I think I’ve figured out why I’m not enjoying having sex with you….”

  17. The Late P Brooks on August 1, 2019 at 11:58 am

    So there you have it – the big guns are behind the big names. Harris, Biden, Sanders and Warren are the home team for the DNC.

    I’m leaning toward a sensible back room compromise ending with Biden/Harris, “Because electable!” but there’s plenty of time for me t be proven wrong.

  18. BakedPenguin on August 1, 2019 at 12:03 pm

    I had a recurrence of my previous problem with Photoshop on this one. Any image I’d open would appear as if it were a UHF channel 65 miles distant in 1977. Nothing but distorted diagonal lines. I sent several profane emails to SP about it, and came close to ditching the comic. At the 11th hour, I found out it was due to an add-on, which I disabled. Unfortunately, this left me with much less time to write the comic, choose and edit the photos, etc. I promise more titties, more RDA, and (at least somewhat) better writing in the future.

    • Mad Scientist on August 1, 2019 at 12:05 pm

      You’re rocking it, BP!

    • Timeloose on August 1, 2019 at 12:07 pm

      No apologies needed. It was great fun as usual.

    • Timeloose on August 1, 2019 at 12:10 pm

      I still want a SNP tshirt with the swastikas on Donnie’s eyes. I just noticed the Swastika lapel ribbon as well. I never saw the comic on my large monitor.

      • BakedPenguin on August 1, 2019 at 12:52 pm

        Depending on what part of the country you live in, that could be a dangerous thing to wear.

        • Timeloose on August 1, 2019 at 1:48 pm

          That is the truth. Either extreme side of the political divide could find a reason to hurt you.

    • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:28 pm

      It came out great, but I did miss the RDA.

      Thanks for doing these.

    • MikeS on August 1, 2019 at 2:31 pm

      You’re kicking ass BP. Thanks for persevering and overcoming Photoshop. Loving the SNP return.

  19. Rebel Scum on August 1, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    What we really need is more political dynasties.

    “Let’s get out the Democratic base of young people, women, and people of color.” Moore said in a post-Democratic debate interview on MSNBC on Wednesday. “The worst thing to do is to moderate, to go to the center, and to think that’s how we’re going to win. This is how we’re going to lose.”

    “And it will happen again if we don’t run the right candidate,” the Oscar-winner continued. “A beloved American who’s not an inside-the-beltway politician type person, but somebody who’s going to be a street fighter and fight for that 70 percent majority that’s going to take us back into the White House.”

    When pressed on who that candidate could be, Moore was clear about who he thinks is best placed to win back the White House in 2020.

    “Who can crush Trump? Who is the street fighter? We saw it in Bernie last night. Who is the street fighter that can crush Trump?” he said. “And frankly, I think there’s a person that could do this, if the election were held today, there is one person that would crush Trump. And she hasn’t announced yet. And her last name rhymes with Obama.”

    “In fact, it is Obama. Michelle Obama. Everybody watching this right now knows she is a beloved American and she would go in there and she would beat him,” Moore said. “She would beat him in the debates, he wouldn’t be able to bully her, he wouldn’t be able to nickname her and she is beloved.”

    Nagging Michelle? Unpatriotic Michelle? No-experience Michelle?

    • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 12:14 pm

      She has definitely been working the circuit. I don’t know what the plan is, but there’s no doubt she’s holding her hat right above the ring.

    • Timeloose on August 1, 2019 at 12:16 pm

      Man of the House Michelle, No McNuggets Michelle, the second first lady to loose the presidency.

      • Rebel Scum on August 1, 2019 at 12:20 pm

        loose

        I assume this is your Trumpian tweeting.

        • Timeloose on August 1, 2019 at 12:31 pm

          I was trying to channel my Trump, H&H style.

    • Brochettaward on August 1, 2019 at 12:16 pm

      Nagging Michelle?

      I can see the headlines calling Trump sexist and racist on CNN already.

      • Rebel Scum on August 1, 2019 at 12:19 pm

        So it would be the same as it is now.

        • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 12:20 pm

          Exactly. Trump’s taken away their favorite toy. That’s why they’re so pissed off.

        • Brochettaward on August 1, 2019 at 12:26 pm

          But this time, he’d have gone too far!

      • Suthenboy on August 1, 2019 at 12:21 pm

        Of course you can. All you have to do is turn on the TV any day of the week.

    • Sean on August 1, 2019 at 12:18 pm

      Their desperation is showing.

      Trump can curbstomp anyone they throw at him.

    • leon on August 1, 2019 at 12:19 pm

      Does Michelle fit the “outside the beltway” mold he talked about earlier?

      • The Other Kevin on August 1, 2019 at 12:24 pm

        Aren’t all “street fighters” paid $100k a year to not show up to work?

    • Rhywun on August 1, 2019 at 12:20 pm

      Trump gets my vote if he turns to her at a debate and says, “Nagger, please!”

      • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:26 pm

        I would fall off the couch.

    • leon on August 1, 2019 at 12:20 pm

      “And her last name rhymes with Obama”

      If she does win we get 4 more years of Block Insane Yo’Mamma commentary?

      • Chipwooder on August 1, 2019 at 2:18 pm

        Good ol’ Mikey

    • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 2:20 pm

      She would beat him in the debates, he wouldn’t be able to bully her, he wouldn’t be able to nickname her and she is beloved.

      Let’s see, just as unlikable as HIllary, with an even thinner resume. Sure, she’ll beat him like a drum.

      No nickname? I think either “Mrs. Obama” or “Mrs. Barack” would do nicely. Points out that, like Hillary, the only reason anybody is talking about her is who she married.

      • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:25 pm

        I’m not as confident.

        I can see the idiots swooning over her like they did her husband.

        I also can see her tripping over her own dick with more commentary on how racist we are.

        50/50?

        • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 2:33 pm

          And I thought I was the pessimistic one.

          • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:34 pm

            It’s probably your fault since I did read your article.

    • Fatty Bolger on August 1, 2019 at 2:28 pm

      It’s true that she is very popular. But I seriously doubt that her likability would survive her candidacy.

      • mexican sharpshooter on August 1, 2019 at 2:37 pm

        This. Their being “popular” is a cash cow for them now. Why kill it?

        • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 3:10 pm

          The real play is to do what the clintons did, namely, keep the likelihood of her being president dangling just out there. The donations and “speaking fees” come rolling in.

          Being president isn’t nearly as lucrative as being the presumptive president.

          And that seems to be exactly what they are doing. These “Michelle is going to jump in at the last minute” rumors aren’t just floating themselves. They are definitely attached to the Obama camp. And the team is on board – she’s been on every network multiple times over the last month, promoting her book and speaking tour. They have been universally worshipful.

          • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 3:13 pm

            The thing to keep an eye on is the rules for the nominating convention.

            Michelle ain’t running a campaign for the nomination, and I think time is running out to start one up that could actually win primaries. If the convention is set up so that someone can be nominated “from the floor”, then you’ll know they at least want to keep her as an option (or that the fix is in).

          • cyto on August 1, 2019 at 3:17 pm

            Yeah.

            They’d have to avoid someone winning it outright first. And they’ve used the “superdeligate” power to ensure that they don’t have a down-to-the-wire situation for quite some time now. I’m not sure how they could keep someone from winning it outright. Unless maybe they flip superdeligates away from the frontrunner and to a back-bencher to throw the last several primaries.

  20. The Late P Brooks on August 1, 2019 at 12:09 pm

    I promise more titties, more RDA, and (at least somewhat) better writing in the future.

    With whipped cream? And a cherry on top?

  21. AlmightyJB on August 1, 2019 at 12:19 pm

    Nice:)

  22. Certified Public Asshat on August 1, 2019 at 12:19 pm

    https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/08/01/upshot/are-you-rich.html

    Is the NYT trying to turn readers against the Dems?

    • leon on August 1, 2019 at 12:22 pm

      “No, you’re not rich.”

      Darn. I thought I was pretty well off.

      • The Other Kevin on August 1, 2019 at 12:27 pm

        Me neither. I have a pretty nice house, and my friends might think I’m rich because of it, but apparently not.

    • Rhywun on August 1, 2019 at 12:22 pm

      Nah, just soothing their base which is guilty rich white people.

    • Certified Public Asshat on August 1, 2019 at 12:25 pm

      Did I mess something up? If I put $174k for an individual in for DC area it appears that is top 5%. That would certainly shock our AOC.

      • Nephilium on August 1, 2019 at 12:30 pm

        I like how it’s the income that determines if you’re rich, not your assets.

        • Certified Public Asshat on August 1, 2019 at 12:37 pm

          Same thing – NYT.

        • MikeS on August 1, 2019 at 2:17 pm

          And they should both be taxed.

          /Bill de Blasio

    • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 12:29 pm

      90+%ile bitches.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 12:30 pm

        But you live in West Baltimore?

        • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 12:32 pm

          Close to it, economically speaking. 😛

          • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 12:39 pm

            Actually when I put in Baltimore I drop down significantly, need an 18% raise to have equivalent income though as Baltimore is more expensive.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 12:31 pm

      Stupid poll anyway. Fails to consider asset worth.

    • Suthenboy on August 1, 2019 at 12:33 pm

      Notice the metric for being rich has nothing to do with how many resources you have but rather how much you have relative to other people.
      Fuckin’ commies, it’s always envy and hate with them.

      • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 12:38 pm

        “When we’re all equally poor, we’ll finally have equality!!! Except me of course, I’m the super smart one who controls the levers of power in this system so…”

      • Nephilium on August 1, 2019 at 12:55 pm

        Well of course, why should I be happy with what I’ve got when the guy across the street has more then me? Never mind that he’s been working longer, has his own business, and saved for that. Ignore that I have more then other people around me.

        Envy is poison.

    • Lord Humungus on August 1, 2019 at 12:54 pm

      I’m not rich-rich, but I’m not poor. The old man is well off but he worked for it. I’m a bit more lazy since working 70+ hours a week, like he did, has zero appeal to me.

    • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 1:02 pm

      I’ve got more than enough to be happy. It’s always good to remember that whatever you have can be taken from you in an instant; fate is a cruel mistress.

      • Suthenboy on August 1, 2019 at 1:07 pm

        Same here and we don’t spend extravagantly. Hell, I have had everything there is to have. I don’t need more junk piling up around here rusting and collecting dust. We pay our light bill and eat very well. These days I just want to cook for my wife and be left the hell alone. I don’t need to be rich.

        • tarran on August 1, 2019 at 1:38 pm

          ^^^^^ Homophobic white supremacist confirmed.

          • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:44 pm

            He posts here, so obviously.

      • Tundra on August 1, 2019 at 1:10 pm

        This.

        I’ve been richer and I’ve been poorer. We live a nice life, my kids seem to be progressing well and everyone is healthy for the moment.

        I’m pretty fucking fortunate.

    • DrOtto on August 1, 2019 at 1:59 pm

      It’s all a trick to lull voters into thinking they’ll be on the receiving end of Medicare for all vs. being on the funding end.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad on August 1, 2019 at 1:59 pm

      Looks like I’m doing very well compared to the closest city. Probably in the 1% for my bumfuck nowhere location. I would be a pauper in NYC or southern CA, but here I get to live like a King. I remember laughing at a recruiter who tried to get me to relocate to a company in Palo Alto and couldn’t understand my disinterest. Doubling my salary isn’t going to make up for the cheapest house within a reasonable commute from work starting at 800k and really being closer to 1.3 mil.

      I initially took a massive paycut and missed out on a several corporate ladder promotions by choosing to work from home and live out in the boonies. I’ve never regretted doing this. I really enjoy my work, get to see my wife and kids during the day, and have no commute. All worthwhile tradeoffs for me. As a bonus, I’m starting to catch up now as my industry shifts to remote work and doesn’t penalize for it on the corporate ladder. This enabled my wife to finally quit her job, which boosted our quality of life tremendously (no household cleaning or diapers for SSD anymore).

    • Chipwooder on August 1, 2019 at 2:26 pm

      Would I like more money? Sure. Am I willing to work the kind of crazy hours most people who make significantly more than I do? Hell no.

  23. Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    OT:

    “Attorney Nicole Gorovsky links fraternity member Brandon Grossheim to the deaths of Mullins and Thomas as well as to the suicides of two others who are referred to in the lawsuit with pseudonyms: John Doe 1[and]John Doe 2[…][Grossheim]began dating Doe 1’s girlfriend shortly after his death.”

    https://www.kansascity.com/news/local/article233350912.html

    Help a guy kill himself then start fucking his girlfriend: Alpha AF.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder on August 1, 2019 at 12:23 pm

      Now that’s how you sociopath.

      • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 1:12 pm

        I don’t begrudge him tryin’ ta get his dick wet.

  24. hayeksplosives on August 1, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    After reading about Biden’s text vs web address confusion, I envision an ad with this:

    “Damn, what was that launch code again? I hate it when that happens. Was it 30330, 30334, or 31330? Is there an app for launching, or how do you kids do it these days?”

    • Private Chipperbot on August 1, 2019 at 12:34 pm

      I picture this…

      • leon on August 1, 2019 at 12:57 pm

        Seamus is at it again: https://youtu.be/Y6S1NrZciFY

  25. Spudalicious on August 1, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    That was good stuff.

  26. Fatty Bolger on August 1, 2019 at 12:53 pm

    Awesome. And a bonus cameo by the late great Lloyd Bridges.

  27. Animal on August 1, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    OT: Bullet fired from Mexico kills Texas man jogging on Rio Grande levee, cops say

    Fake news. We all know Mexico’s strict gun control laws make this impossible.

    If this did happen, I’m sure the culprits probably got their guns in Indiana.

    • Tundra on August 1, 2019 at 1:08 pm

      Or from ATF…

      • The Other Kevin on August 1, 2019 at 1:23 pm

        Those guys are pretty hard to compete with. We just concentrate on the 49 states that are adjacent to us, plus Europe and Australia.

        • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:27 pm

          Guess I was wrong, I assumed the ATF was also supplied by you.

    • Fatty Bolger on August 1, 2019 at 1:13 pm

      The “iron river” of guns strikes again.

      Reyna said Hernandez lived nearby and often jogged along the levee, KRGV reported.

      “He would jog almost twice a day. He was very into health and fitness,” Reyna said, according to the TV station.

      Ironic.

    • Rhywun on August 1, 2019 at 1:21 pm

      Here are some tips for staying safe while exercising outdoors.

      WTF? Is “beware the Mexican border” one of them?

      • RegicidalManiac on August 1, 2019 at 1:27 pm

        I mean, it might not be the worst idea.

    • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 1:30 pm

      Are they sending us their best bullets?

      • Mad Scientist on August 1, 2019 at 2:49 pm

        Some of those bullets, I’m sure, are good rounds.

  28. Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 1:15 pm

    One last thing form the Dave Smith/Nick Gilespie interview on Thaddeus Russel…

    I hadn’t watched the first part, Nick literally admitted to not having any principles. Wowzer (27 minutes in for those interested, but not wanting to watch for 2 hours…)

    • Fatty Bolger on August 1, 2019 at 1:17 pm

      Lots of people confuse “libertine” with “libertarian”, but you wouldn’t expect one of them to be the editor-in-chief of a libertarian magazine.

      • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 1:25 pm

        Lackadaisical summed it up perfectly; “socially liberal” is the only thing he and his kind actually care about, they’d compromise on literally everything else.

        • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 1:27 pm

          I want my taxpayer funded cocaine-soaked sex parties!

          • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:28 pm

            Don’t we all.

          • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 1:31 pm

            At least that would reduce government waste. 😉

          • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 1:35 pm

            The government would find a way to make them awful…..”

            “So I have to fill out 57 redundant forms, mail them in, wait for a response, finally to be assigned to an orgy that’s full of paunchy dudes with cocaine that’s been poorly cut, plus ‘tax payer funded’ still comes with a hefty amount of fees and surcharges? Think I’ll stay home.”

    • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:20 pm

      Listening to that interview really helped to explain the demise of TOS.

    • DOOMco on August 1, 2019 at 1:35 pm

      That moment stuck out more than his general dickishess.
      His “economics don’t matter” had me a little pissed.

      • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:42 pm

        I don’t remember if it was Nick or Thaddeus, but one of them said that the Mises people never talk about race in their papers and snarkily added “I wonder why that is”.

        Definitely insinuating they are racists.

        It was hard to listen to, but Dave did an excellent job of showing how wrong they were on that and several other things.

        • Fatty Bolger on August 1, 2019 at 1:45 pm

          Obviously it’s the racists who never talk about race. ?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr on August 1, 2019 at 1:45 pm

        I’m not all that surprised that Freak Flag Fonzie is only interested in letting his freak flag fly in op-ed form.

        However, Deferentialism is ineffective in two ways. First, people, even Deferentialists, tend to have a line drawn in the sand where they shift from relativistic deference to the individual to a more absolutist stance. For example, Cosmotarians tend to be Deferentialists up to the point where their particular identity politics ox is gored. Second, Deferentialism gives no answer to Cultural Marxism. Deferentialists are either forced to kowtow to the virulent left, or they end up drifting authoritarian.

        Linky

        • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 1:52 pm

          Doherty’s article about Cultural Marxism being nothing more than a conservative boogeyman is what finally made me turn my back on TOS entirely. Not only was it snarky trash for what I had considered one of their “good” writers, it was deliberately obtuse and willfully naive. That sealed it for me that they would all cut off their nose to spite their face rather than associate with anyone right-leaning. When Ron Paul is a vial racist but open boarders progressives are to be applauded, you’ve lost me,

          • wdalasio on August 1, 2019 at 3:03 pm

            they would all cut off their nose to spite their face rather than associate with anyone right-leaning

            I think, between this and you’re comment this morning, you hit the nail on the head. A guy like Jacket is what I’ll call a “professional libertarian”. By that, I don’t mean a guy who makes a living advocating for libertarian ideas. I mean a guy who gets called on to be “the libertarian voice” when they need one on television. As such, he’s pretty much a part of the libertarian establishment. And that’s probably been a pretty good gig for him.

            The funny thing is that he and Welch were basically right that, a few years back, there was a “Libertarian Moment”. They just never wanted to acknowledge where it was. It wasn’t amongst statist Democrats who happened to like video games. It was largely a thing that happened on the right. For a long while, I thought they just didn’t understand it. Now, I’m not so sure. I think a real movement on the right toward a libertarian awakening would be the very last thing guys like Gillespie or Nicholas Sarwark would ever want. As I’ve said, they’ve got a comfy gig. They’re able to make a decent living as big fish in a pretty small pond. Imagine what would happen to them if that pond were opened up into much larger “conservatarian” lake. A libertarian-transformed Rush Limbaugh or some such would eat Gillespie for breakfast and still wonder if there was any toast around. A Nicholas Sarwark in newly libertarian GOP politics might qualify as a junior associate for one of their campaign consulting firms.

          • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 3:06 pm

            I mean a guy who gets called on to be “the libertarian voice” when they need one on television. As such, he’s pretty much a part of the libertarian establishment.

            I would say that, as such, he is part of the media/entertainment establishment. Without some kind of other bona fides, he’s as much a libertarian as the go-to “conservative/Republican” commentators used by the media/entertainment establishment are Republicans even though they rarely support any Republican politician or policy. Which is to say, not really a libertarian at all, just a guy who plays one on TV.

          • wdalasio on August 1, 2019 at 3:13 pm

            I’m not saying he’s a die-hard libertarian. No more than the average member of the GOP Establishment is a die-hard conservative or Republican. It’s just that a guy like Gillespie has a lot more to say on what the libertarian agenda is, or at least the agenda of the major libertarian institutions are, than other libertarians. The fact that he’s not really very libertarian is almost beside the point.

          • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 5:25 pm

            The fact that he’s not really very libertarian is almost beside the point.

            Oh, I think its very much the point. They want a “libertarian” who will say what the DemOp handlers want their pet libertarian to say, not actually promote OG libertarianism.

    • mexican sharpshooter on August 1, 2019 at 2:50 pm

      “Can you both STFU for a second?”

      I think Thaddeus is one a roll here…

  29. Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Not controlled for: $$$

    https://www.studyfinds.org/unattractive-men-dating-material-study/

    • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 1:28 pm

      I can’t believe this isn’t true for the reciprocal either. I’d rather be celibate than try to force myself into a relationship with a woman I have no attraction for. That being said it goes without saying that it’s all subjective and the definition of ‘unattractive’ can vary widely from person to person.

    • Fatty Bolger on August 1, 2019 at 1:28 pm

      Yeah, add “rich”, “famous”, “powerful”, etc. to the mix, and see what happens.

      • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 1:32 pm

        Especially since these play a huge factor in attraction for women. They can find an utterly average, if not ugly dude, sexy if they perceive he has status.

        • Fatty Bolger on August 1, 2019 at 1:38 pm

          Exactly. Ed Sheeran, random dude? Zero attraction. Ed Sheeran, music star? He’s adorable!

    • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:32 pm

      Show your son pictures of an old fat guy with a hot young girl when he questions why he should work hard and be successful.

      The same pictures work when your daughter asks the same questions.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad on August 1, 2019 at 1:41 pm

        I laughed. And will remember when those questions come.

    • ChipsnSalsa on August 1, 2019 at 2:48 pm

      File under no shit

      The bottom line is that cocaine appears to increase sexual desire, and even though users who are on cocaine report being likely to use a condom if they had one in a risky sex situation, if a condom isn’t available, cocaine makes people less willing to postpone sex to get a condom,

  30. Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    Incels finally have an explanation!

    https://www.studyfinds.org/study-preterm-babies-less-likely-to-enjoy-romance-sex-in-adulthood/

    • Lackadaisical on August 1, 2019 at 1:46 pm

      Humans who were born full term are probably smarter and better looking. Though I wonder if any of this improves with technology.

    • Lord Humungus on August 1, 2019 at 1:53 pm

      STEVE SMITH INCUBATED BILLION CENTURIES INSIDE DEAD STAR.

      • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 1:55 pm

        So STEVE SMITH is an Elder God?

        • Lord Humungus on August 1, 2019 at 1:57 pm

          er yes?
          https://glibertarians.com/2018/04/a-brief-history-of-steve-smith/

          • Bob Boberson on August 1, 2019 at 2:01 pm

            Lol, I missed that one the first time around. So STEVE to us what is Tom Bombadil is to Middle Earth.

          • Lord Humungus on August 1, 2019 at 2:13 pm

            with more rape.

    • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 1:59 pm

      My cousin was a premature baby. Not a bright guy.

      I told this before on here, but it’s funny, so bear with me:

      He had an underage girl friend, she got pregnant. He was 32 she was 16.

      He adamantly denied he was the father, but her parents pressed charges.

      In open court, when the judge said wait for the baby to be born and then do a DNA test, he looked back at his mother and yelled”I’m screwed!”

      • Semi-Spartan Dad on August 1, 2019 at 2:12 pm

        I wonder who holds consent for the DNA test, assuming the mother objects. Do the grandparents have guardianship over the grandchild if the mother is a minor? Would the judge’s ability to order a DNA test change if the mother objected and got emancipated or turned 18 before the baby was born?

        No implications for me of course, just curious.

        • Q Continuum on August 1, 2019 at 2:16 pm

          “No implications for me of course”

          Yeah right, you can’t fool us. We all know you’ve left an ocean of pregnant, teenage farm girls in your wake.

        • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:18 pm

          I don’t know.

          Luckily I wasn’t involve at all in that shitshow.

          His mother told this story to my mom.

        • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 2:31 pm

          Do the grandparents have guardianship over the grandchild if the mother is a minor?

          The biological parents have custody until they either surrender it (adoption) or it is removed by CPS or a court.

          I wonder who holds consent for the DNA test, assuming the mother objects. Would the judge’s ability to order a DNA test change if the mother objected and got emancipated or turned 18 before the baby was born?

          Consent doesn’t matter when a judge orders it. Its kind of what an order is all about.

          • Semi-Spartan Dad on August 1, 2019 at 2:48 pm

            Consent doesn’t matter when a judge orders it. Its kind of what an order is all about.

            Even if the judge orders something, doesn’t the person still have to give consent to comply or face contempt? Like with the fingerprint reader on a cell phone. A LEO doesn’t pin someone down and press their thumb to unlock a phone if the judge orders it. They just get charged with contempt for not complying with the order. Or am I completely mistaken on that?

          • leon on August 1, 2019 at 2:59 pm

            Eventually the cop does hold you down and puts you in a chokehold.

          • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 3:02 pm

            Even if the judge orders something, doesn’t the person still have to give consent to comply or face contempt?

            Consent is irrelevant once an order is issued; all that matters is compliance. You can comply the easy way, or you can comply the hard way.

            If you don’t comply voluntarily, blood or other genetic samples will be taken by force (routinely done for BAC blood samples). I expect an LEO would mash your thumb on the phone if you were ordered to do it and refused.

            Compliance can also be coerced with threats of punishment or actual punishment.

          • Semi-Spartan Dad on August 1, 2019 at 3:08 pm

            Thanks. It’s what I get for trying to give just the tiniest benefit of the doubt to the legal system.

          • R C Dean on August 1, 2019 at 3:08 pm

            Put it this way: if you consented, there wouldn’t need to be an order at all. They are issued after someone refuses to consent.

          • Gustave Lytton on August 1, 2019 at 3:06 pm

            I think they can order it done even if you’re non compliant. See court ordered blood draws for DUIs.

      • mexican sharpshooter on August 1, 2019 at 2:40 pm

        In open court, when the judge said wait for the baby to be born and then do a DNA test, he looked back at his mother and yelled”I’m screwed!”

        Me: Ha!
        Lady one cubicle over: What’s so funny?
        Me: Oh. um…..

    • Chipwooder on August 1, 2019 at 2:46 pm

      Guess my kids are screwed….the boy was 4 weeks early, the girl was 7.

      • Chipwooder on August 1, 2019 at 2:47 pm

        bah, didn’t mean to hit submit yet…..that’s why we didn’t have more kids. The doctor told us that there was a good chance a third kid would be even earlier, and after going through a few weeks in the NICU for my daughter, I didn’t want to go through that again.

        • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:50 pm

          a few weeks in the NICU for my daughter,

          I can’t imagine that level of stress.

      • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:47 pm

        I don’t think being premature was what made him stupid.

        That whole family is a circus sideshow.

  31. leon on August 1, 2019 at 2:39 pm

    Y’all are getting to me.

    Just listened to Lions Of Liberty wrap up of the debates. The had Jen Monroe on. Her choice for most Statist part of the second night was Biden because he was for border security.

    That’s crazy to me. I get the argument for loosening borders, but how is that your#1 concern in the Democratic debates?

    • ron73440 on August 1, 2019 at 2:44 pm

      Border security is less statist then medicare for all?

      Huh, I did not know that.

  32. 0x90 on August 1, 2019 at 2:58 pm

    https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/01/health/dayton-ohio-smoking-tobacco-ban-trnd/index.html

    On what basis can a gov entity discriminate for hiring based on lawful personal habits or activities?

    • leon on August 1, 2019 at 3:01 pm

      Paragraph F section Y item T addendum W of the Constitution

      • 0x90 on August 1, 2019 at 3:29 pm

        FYTW .. hmm .. For You Toil We, that must be, eh?

  33. DEG on August 1, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    Excellent installment!

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